Domestic Seminary

Chapter 3: First Prayers and Sacred Touch

The Language of Heaven Begins with Babbling

Before your child can pronounce “theological,” they can pray. Before they understand transubstantiation, they can experience the sacred through touch. This chapter explores how to introduce the youngest children to prayer as a natural conversation with God who is already present, already listening, already loving.

“Unless you become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven”¹. Perhaps this is because children already know what we adults forget: that prayer is fundamentally about relationship, not performance.

Theological Foundation: Can Babies Pray?

Question: Whether infants and toddlers can truly pray?

Objection 1: It would seem that infants cannot pray, for prayer requires intention, and babies lack rational intention.

Objection 2: Furthermore, prayer is the lifting of the mind and heart to God², but infants have no concept of God to whom they might lift their hearts.

Objection 3: Moreover, if babies could pray, baptism would be unnecessary, for they would already be in communion with God.

On the contrary, the Psalmist declares, “From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise”³. Additionally, St. Thérèse of Lisieux speaks of her earliest memories being suffused with awareness of God’s presence.

I answer that prayer admits of degrees. In its highest form, prayer is indeed the conscious lifting of mind and heart to God. But prayer begins more fundamentally as the orientation of one’s being toward the divine.

Consider three levels of prayer:

  1. Ontological prayer: The very being of the baptized oriented toward God
  2. Affective prayer: The movement of the heart toward goodness, beauty, love
  3. Conceptual prayer: The mind’s conscious address to God

Infants are capable of the first two levels. When a baby reaches toward beauty, responds to love, or rests in peaceful trust, they participate in prayer’s essence. The parent’s role is to give words and form to what the child already experiences.

Reply to Objection 1: Rational intention is the fullness of prayer, not its beginning. Just as a plant turns toward sun before it “knows” what light is, so the child’s soul turns toward God before conceptual knowledge.

Reply to Objection 2: The infant knows God not conceptually but experientially—through the love of parents, the beauty of creation, the peace of blessing. These mediate divine presence truly, if imperfectly.

Reply to Objection 3: Baptism does not create the capacity for prayer but elevates it to the supernatural order. The baptized infant prays in Christ, not merely as creature to Creator.

The Development of Prayer: From Touch to Words

Stage 1: Prayer as Sacred Touch (0-12 months)

At this stage, prayer is primarily communicated through the body. The parent is the priest, the child’s body is the altar, and gentle touch mediates blessing.

The Blessing Touch

First Prayer Words (spoken by parent for child)

Prayer Positions

When John Paul II visited a children’s hospital, he spent longest with the infants, tracing crosses on tiny foreheads. When asked why, he replied, “They understand blessing better than anyone.”

Stage 2: Prayer as Imitation (12-24 months)

The toddler begins to mimic sacred gestures before understanding their meaning. This is not “empty ritual” but embodied learning.

Gestures to Introduce

Simple Prayer Formulas

Sacred Songs as Prayer

Stage 3: Prayer as Conversation (2-3 years)

The child begins to understand prayer as talking to Someone, not just something we do.

The Three Essential Prayers

  1. Thank You: “Thank you, God, for…” (let child fill in)
  2. Please: “Please help…” (specific needs)
  3. Sorry: “Sorry, God, for…” (gentle introduction to contrition)

Expanding Prayer Vocabulary

First Memorized Prayers Focus on one at a time, with gestures:

Sign of the Cross “In the name” (touch forehead) “of the Father” (touch chest) “and of the Son” (touch left shoulder) “and of the Holy Spirit” (touch right shoulder) “Amen” (fold hands)

Simple Our Father “Our Father in heaven, We love your name. Thank you for everything. Help us be good. Amen.”

Stage 4: Prayer as Relationship (3-4 years)

The child begins to initiate prayer and understand God as a Person who listens.

Spontaneous Prayer Encouragement

Prayer Throughout the Day

Traditional Prayers with Understanding

Hail Mary (introduce slowly) “Hail Mary” (Hello, Mary) “Full of grace” (God loves you so much) “The Lord is with thee” (God is always with you) “Blessed art thou among women” (You’re the best mommy) “And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus” (Thank you for baby Jesus)

Guardian Angel Prayer “Angel of God, my guardian dear, To whom God’s love commits me here, Ever this day be at my side, To light and guard, to rule and guide. Amen.”

Stage 5: Prayer as Practice (4-5 years)

The child can now engage in simple prayer practices and understand basic prayer postures.

Introduction to Meditation

Prayer Postures and Their Meanings

Family Prayer Formats

Common Challenges in Teaching Prayer

“My Child Won’t Be Still”

Question: Whether children must be still to pray?

I answer that stillness is one form of prayer, not its only form. King David danced before the Lord. Children often pray best through:

The goal is focused attention, not frozen bodies.

“My Child’s Prayers Seem Silly”

Actual prayers from children:

These are excellent prayers because:

Never correct the content, only gently guide the form.

“Prayer Feels Like a Battle”

For the resistant child:

Remember: You’re planting seeds, not forcing growth. Some seeds take years to sprout.

Sacred Touch: The Forgotten Sacramental

Modern culture has made us suspicious of touch, for good protective reasons. But appropriate sacred touch remains essential for forming children in faith. Here’s how to maintain both safety and sacredness:

The Theology of Sacred Touch

In Scripture:

In Tradition:

Appropriate Sacred Touch

Daily Blessings:

Liturgical Touch:

Healing Touch:

Creating Safe Sacred Space

Clear Boundaries:

Teaching Consent:

The Fruits of Early Prayer Formation

When prayer is introduced naturally and lovingly in early childhood, you’ll observe:

By Age 3:

By Age 5:

Long-term Effects:

Practical Resources

Prayer Books for Little Ones:

Music Resources:

Apps and Digital:

A Parent’s Prayer for Teaching Prayer

Holy Spirit, divine Teacher, help me teach my child to pray. When I feel inadequate, remind me that you pray within us with groanings too deep for words. Give me patience when prayer feels like a struggle, creativity when routine grows stale, and trust that you are working even when I see no fruit. May my child learn from me that prayer is not performance but presence, not achievement but relationship. Through Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Father, one God forever and ever. Amen.


References

  1. Matthew 18:3.
  2. St. John Damascene, quoted in Catechism of the Catholic Church §2559.
  3. Psalm 8:2.
  4. St. Thérèse of Lisieux, Story of a Soul.
  5. 2 Samuel 6:14.
  6. Mark 10:16.
  7. Acts 6:6.
  8. Luke 15:20.
  9. 1 Corinthians 6:19.